Dec 22nd 2020 Advent Calendar

December 21, 2020

Dec 22nd 2020 Advent Calendar

Do you remember that time Supergirl found a woman on another planet who was her exact double so that Superman could fall in love with her without feeling awkward? (From this picture I'm not sure he'd have found it that awkward--)

Or what about the time she got herself hitched to this guy? (Surprise, surprise-- things don't turn out to be quite what they seem for either of them--)

And surely you can't have forgotten that time she made out with a horse? (Insert you own joke about him getting his oats--)

ADVENTURE COMICS #390 heralds itself as a 'Special all-romance issue', which as well as depicting Super-horse transforming into a very different kind of stallion to lock lips with the lovely Linda, also promises readers 'Supergirl's Wedding Day'. Cover-dated April 1970, this is of course a collection of reprints from the late 50s and early 60s, re-presenting stories that the title's younger readers would be unlikely to have already seen. We are also teased , in this Swan/Anderson triptych with the image of Superman kissing 'Supergirl's double', in an issue which is certain to have been targeting young girl readers. Similarly LOIS LANE's covers regularly depicted the title-character in a variety of romantic situations, contrasting with the more action orientated comics aimed principally at boys.

Wedding stories always seem to be a popular stand-by in the comics world just as they are in TV soap operas (snore!). Here's a great early example featuring the Golden Age Green Lantern marrying the bewitching figure of The Harlequin on the cover of ALL-AMERICAN COMICS #91 in 1947-- I like the way their bond has seemingly led to a truce between the cops and the hoods, though Alan himself doesn't look too thrilled about it all. Doesn't he realise Superheroes are supposed to be filled with sexual desire for their foes, and that repressing these urges does no good whatsoever--

Or here's an intriguing cover from ADVENTURE COMICS #337, in which Superboy is especially troubled by the way four of the Legionnaires are going to be ostracized from the group because of the 'virgins-only' rules of their constitution. Don't worry, Superboy, you'll understand it one day--

And this lovely cover from AQUAMAN #18 shows the assembled Justice League in neat bubble-helmets, 'guests of the kingdom of Atlantis' at the wedding of Aquaman and Mera, which is being officiated by some kind of bald-headed aquatic priest--

But for me the most tempting wedding cover has to be from LOIS LANE #103, Superman's girlfriend having seemingly been transformed into a demon complete with horns, tail and cloven hooves. It's like Superman as interpreted by Hammer films complete with clouds of infernal smoke and a hoard of acolytes witnessing the satanic coupling. It's comforting to think that, as a fellow noted for being beyond all codes of morality, Satan conforms to the convention of marriage, even having a bald-headed demonic priest of his own to preside over the ceremony.

Of course Lois is something of a serial bride, the stories in her title comic frequently focusing on her plans to ensnare Superman in some kind of long-term relationship. The cover of #37, however, condemns her to what she believes to be a huge disappointment-- marrying Clark Kent instead. Do you think that when she sees Clark without his glasses first thing in the morning the penny will at last drop?

Or here she is on the cover of #79 about to become Titanman's bride. But just look at Superman-- he's being rather petulant, I'd say--

LOIS LANE #89 tempts readers with the idea of their heroine marrying Bruce Wayne. Poor Superman-- he's as heartbroken as Lois was on the cover of #37, jealous that Brucie has won Lois's heart without the necessity of donning his tights and cape. And is it just me or does the bride look like she might be soon producing her own little Bat-mite?

The very next issue Lois is at it again, this time with her Kryptonian 'future husband', Dahr-Nel. And look how Superman's taking it this time-- he's absolutely livid that he hasn't married her himself-- that'll teach him to play so hard to get--

And then when Lois does at last have the chance to get Superman to the altar, things of course don't go according to plan--

Or check out this tempting cover image from SUPERMAN FAMILY #181, where Superman no longer seems to be the model of Adonis, but what Lois rather disdainfully describes as "a gnome". I do like the lurking figure of Merlin in his beautifully patterned gown and hat. I'm disappointed however that the cover does not promote the issue's other story, 'Jimmy Olsen Marries Supergirl'--

These tales of Lois's repeated weddings must have proven popular with the intended readership, if the 80-PAGE GIANT ALL-WEDDING ISSUE is anything to go by, a handy collection of these heartwarming/heartbreaking tales. But I can't help noticing that every time Lois has a wedding she has a completely new dress-- those things don't come cheap, so who's paying for them all?

I'm also quite taken by this cover for BATMAN FAMILY #11, which depicts the wedding of Robin to Batgirl, though it appears they have walked into something of a trap. The would-be happy couple have even gone to the effort of having wedding outfits made based on their own costumes, so it'll be doubly a shame if the whole ceremony is ruined by these inconsiderate hoodlums and their nefarious ways--

And here's Diana Prince getting hitched at gunpoint in WONDER WOMAN #194. I'm surprised these crusty old specimens didn't tie the poor girl up in her bridal gown, then they could have potentially satisfied two of the title's readers' fetishes in one go--

Perhaps that was the intention with the cover of CATWOMAN #18, a somewhat absurd look having been adopted by the bride here. I'm sure if she'd been invited to Robin and Batgirl's ceremony it would have put Catwoman in mind to design something better -and more dignified- than this atrocity--

Fans of Spidey's Aunt May were minded to consider that, as the saying goes, there's still plenty of life left in the old girl when they were presented with PIDER-MAN #131. Yes, 'the greatest action ish ever' sees the spectacle of Doc Ock at the altar with the good woman, and I'm surprised at what a killjoy young Parker's being-- he should be happy for his aunt, the Doctor might be a psychopathic megalomaniac, but that doesn't mean he's not a considerate lover--

Then we have SHE-HULK #33, another mismatched pairing, but perhaps not an unrealistic one when you consider the likes of Rod Stewart or Billy Joel and the frequently commented on height differences between them and their various spouses--

Finally I feel obliged to comment on the cover of the JUSTICE LEAGUE WEDDING SPECIAL oneshot. On the one hand you could say the cover is a glorious celebration of the love and camaraderie enjoyed by the members of the Superhero group, bride-to-be Black Canary being surrounded by so many of her faithful friends and loyal team-mates. Or on the other hand it's just an excuse to show off Wonder Woman's Amazonian ass in all its glory. As ever in these matters, I'll let you decide--